On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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