This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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