i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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