i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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