I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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