Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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