walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I didn't notice because vodka
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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