I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
