Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
