Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
