your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
