So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
