Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
