My first STD was from a foam party
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Blood and glitter go together right?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
