I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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