Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
