haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
