I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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