Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
