What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
