rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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