I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
