To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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