I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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