It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
