You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
