I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i've created a new STD.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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