I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
