I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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