I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
