I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
