brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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