we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
