Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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