you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
