who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
