chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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