I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
