You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
bring money and cleavage
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
