If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
