whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
