just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
