how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
