But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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