Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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