I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
