hotel room ftw
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
