We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
