dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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