What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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