Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
